Writer. 21:20) and another as having a bed approximately 13.5 ft. long x 6 ft. wide. (Lev. The vision of Ezekiel, as described in Ezekiel 37:7-8, is really creepy, akin to a zombie horror movie. He then feigns indignation and sends parts of her body to the twelve tribes of Israel, inciting a war of . 2:13 and 3:17), keeping your hair unkempt (Lev. Of course with a book this long, theres a lot to choose from. Hopefully, you had a few giggles. Apparently, certain readers grab it before they reach the Ten Commandments! Division (Quran 2:174) Christians and Jews (who believe in only part of the Scripture), will suffer in this life and go to hell after death. Abraham, who was willing to sacrifice his only son on Gods command, is certainly in the running. The especially disturbing part is that they are like zombies: they remain dead. Jephthah came from a humble background and his mother was a prostitute. (Ezekiel 1:1-16), Jesus helped the apostle Peter pay his taxes by providing him with four coins from a fishs mouth. 08/05/23 | StarsInsider LIFESTYLE Religion T he Bible is a fascinating book, but one that also has its fair share of horror stories. From this comes the Israelite tradition," (Judges 11:39). (Sam. God took them up to heaven. For space I did not include the whole passage, you can read that here: Numbers 22:21-41. . Check out this list of the 10 best movies to watch every Easter. The Old Testament shows the biblical Lord as one with no remorse and a quest for vengeance. Unsplash The Bible has long been a source of inspiration to people all over the world. This belief, once again, comes from the Book of Deuteronomy. One day the older daughter said to the younger, "Our father is old, and there is no man around here to give us childrenas is the custom all over the earth. And he took him a potsherd to scrape himself withal; and he sat down among the ashes.". One of the funniest scriptures in the Bible is the story about Elijah being called baldy by a group of boys. homosexuality is an abomination (Leviticus 18:22) cripples, dwarfs, hunchbacks and blind men are forbidden from entering churches (Leviticus 21:17-23) blasphemers should be stoned to death (Leviticus 24:16) women suspected of adultery have to drink dirty water, if they fall ill they're guilty (Numbers 5:11-31) This verse is a little bit strange because it omits any reference to female homosexuality, though some say that this just bears witness to the patriarchal, homophobic ideals of the society that the laws came from. Job not only loses everything, but he's afflicted with boils all over his body. Joshua Sigafus is an author, a thinker, and a human who believes in trying to make the world a better place. Bears attacking children - Noah's story not only mentions genocide, but it also implies that God commanded him to procreate with his own relatives. Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them." This is one of the darkest verses in the Holy Bible. According to the verse, the Lord rewards Phinehas for the murder with perpetual priesthood and praises him for keeping the nation pure. Lets do it together. Sources: (Ranker) (Grunge) Most of all, a sense of humor is required. The Old Testament contains some things that are difficult for us to reconcile: oppression of women, brutal violence, indifference toward the helpless, and even genocidal wars. he hath as it were the strength of a unicorn. (Numbers 24:8), People were getting too smart for their own good (proud) so God changed their language. The verse prior gives us a little hint about what is going on. 5 The bridegroom was a long time in c. Get out of here, baldy! (2 Kings 2:23), Can you imagine making fun of one of the most powerful prophets ever? 9 - "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord." (Ephesians 5:22) 10 - "Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the cruel." (1 Peter 2:18) The link at the top will give you the context for each of them. If any one lie with a man as with a woman, both have committed an abomination, let them be put to death: their blood be upon them. Pastor. . - Jephthah swears to God that if he wins a battle, he'll sacrifice whatever comes out of the door when he gets home. Shechems people even agree to enter into Gods covenant, originally made with Abraham, by having all the men circumcised. . And they brought a sword before the king. https://www.pinterest.com/julieaplagens/_saved/, 37 Funny Mom Quotes and Sayings That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud. I have a B.A. Next, take a look at these hilarious church signs that are sinfully funny. But thou shalt presently put him to death. After all, God tells Noah in Genesis 9:7: "As for you, be fruitful and increase in number; multiply on the earth and increase upon it. Except, only Noah's family was alive Noah's story not only mentions genocide, but it also implies that God commanded him to procreate with his own relatives. Genesis 19:30-38. (Jonah 4:6), Elijah mocked Ahab and asked him if his god, Baal, was off relieving himself (pooping). Perhaps the bear part made it too violent, RELATED:Funny Mom Fails: 11 Hilarious Fails Every Mom Understands. (Deut. God doesnt view sin as a laughing matter. . It would seem that steadfast devotion to the religion is of the utmost importance; at least, that is what one can assume by reading this passage! The values that it conveys are relevant even after thousands of years. St. Augustine believed that slavery was a result of sin and should be tolerated. What is worse than being forced to have sex? ", King Herod's death While the Scriptures supply some excellent monikers, there are other choices that would cast a truly hideous shadow on a poor childs life. Christianity is one of the most widespread religions in the world, with more than two billion followers worldwide. There are tips on building a Christian home, parenting, marriage, family issues, and faith. The biggest Bible fact of all is that Goliath himself might have trouble toting around the largest Bible ever recordedits called the Waynai Bible, and its housed at the Abilene Christian University in Texas. 1 King Belshazzar gave a great banquet for a thousand of his nobles and drank wine with them. ", Women Either way, it does seem to advocate docility in the face of harsh leadership as opposed to resistance. These punishments seem to be quite barbaric in nature and not on the same level as the sin committed at least in our day. The Lord does not take lightly people who worship other gods. - 2 Kings 2:23-24 tells the story of how God sent in bears to attack a group of children who mocked prophet Elisha. Jeffery Curtis Poor | March 12, 2020September 2, 2016 | Understanding Specific Bible Stories (Biblical Interpretation). Heres what the passage says: Just then one of the Israelites came and brought a Midianite woman into his family, in the sight of Moses and in the sight of the whole congregation of the Israelites. Though after eating the first child, the mother of the second child hides her son in an attempt to save him. From the start of Genesis to the end of Revelation, its pages are filled with tails of slavery, genocide, rape, incest, and almost anything else you might find in an episode of Law & Order: SVU. - Exodus 20-21 not only details the Ten Commandments, but it also talks about "masters" and "servants" and even goes as far as giving instruction on punishment of slaves. In her new book "A Most Peculiar Book: The Inherent Strangeness of the Bible" (Oxford University Press, 2021), Kristin Swenson, an associate professor of religious studies at Virginia. - "Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve offspring from our father, reads Genesis 19:32. Its funny some things we get to read in the bible. At the words, Chest of God, Eli fell backward off his stool where he sat next to the gate. ", Sodom and Gomorrah The miraculous life and death of Jesus Christ still enchant thousands of believers all over the world. One of the best ways to make storytime fun for your kids is to introduce a few of the weirdest things in the Bible. And yet, many Christians do not even know that it exists. On the bright side, this will give you plenty to talk about at dinner tonight. All plants were watered from streams coming up from the ground. . It is filled with spiritual wisdom and teachings passed down through generations,. Our editors and experts handpick every product we feature. 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More than half of the top 50 baby names for boys in 2019 have biblical origins, including old standbys like Jacob (#13) and Daniel (#15), more recent hits such as Noah (#2) and Elijah (#5), and nicknames or foreign versions of Biblical names like Jackson (#17) or Mateo (#26). This could possibly be described as fornication, but the taking her part really makes it sound quite forced. (1 Samuel 17:7), The Israelites were allowed to consume insects like locusts, crickets, or grasshoppers for food. Sodom and Gomorrah And for men, it sounds like genitals were a necessity if they wanted to be involved in the service. His face was shining so brightly that no one could look at him. https://www.starsinsider.com/lifestyle/491320/from-zombies-to-cannibals-the-most-disturbing-parts-of-the-bible, Science confirms these parts of the Bible are true. The beheading of John the Baptist - Genesis 19:4-26 details what happened to the original sin cities: "Then the LORD rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the LORD out of heaven. Of all the polygamists in the Bible (one of the interesting Bible facts is that there are quite a few), King Solomon clearly takes the cake. Its time for a revival! This is a place for Christian women to freely talk about parenting, marriage, faith, family, and culture. The actual point is that Gods story will come to fruition despite our best efforts. If thy brother the son of thy mother, or thy son, or daughter, or thy wife that is in thy bosom, or thy friend, whom thou lovest as thy own soul, would persuade thee secretly, saying: Let us go, and serve strange gods, which thou knowest not, nor thy fathers. (Exodus 16:15), Adam named all the animals on the earth. Robert Cinega / Getty Images. We may earn a commission from your purchases. He and his two daughters lived in a cave. Check out the 45 weirdest things in the Bible that your kids (and you) will love. Understanding Specific Bible Stories (Biblical Interpretation), What Is The Armor Of God? '", 1 Kings 3:16-28 reads: "And the king said, Bring me a sword. Perhaps the most disturbing story of them all (containingallof these elements) is the account of the Levite and His Concubine, in Judges 19-21. In Genesis 34, Shechem, a foreigner, has sex with Dinah, the. - King Herod also had quite a gruesome death, as described in Acts 12:23: "And immediately the angel of the Lord smote him, because he gave not God the glory: and he was eaten of worms, and gave up the ghost. God destroys the fetuses of those who do not worship him. Continue the conversation on Facebook and join the groupChristian Family Living. However, modern Christianity recognizes slavery as inhuman and against Gods will. Though there are interpretations that say that the "children" could have been a group of young men. They do reconcile in the end, but the threat of God is a scary one. [1] Historians (both secular and theistic) tend to agree that the spread of Christianity has been an example of a pretty successful spiritual mission. (Gen. 5:27 ), God turned Lots wife into a pillar of salt because she disobeyed the angel and looked back at Sodom and Gomorrah while fleeing. This account remains one of the most disturbing events in the Bible amongst biblical scholars and Christian faith believers. They took Joseph to Egypt., Slavery could also run in the family as mentioned in Genesis 17:23 when Abraham demonstrated his faith in God by circumcising himself and every male in his household. (Goats are a distant second.) Yeah, that was dumb. The scripture says, Then Abraham took Ishmael his son and all those born in his house or bought with his money, every male among the men of Abrahams house, and he circumcised the flesh of their foreskins that very day, as God had said to him.. There were giants who lived during Bible times. From being "unclean" from having a period or a baby (Leviticus 12) to Deuteronomy 22:2829, which reads: "If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay her father fifty shekels[a] of silver. This is a response to the Babylonians, who enslaved the people of Jerusalem, but it's still disturbing. The Old Testament sanctions slavery and the use of slaves in several instances. Purchase your ebook or paperback onAmazonor at your favoritedigital store. 11:20,23), God grew a huge plant within minutes to shade Jonah from the heat. And the king said, 'Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one, and half to the other. 1. He can never divorce her as long as he lives. Lot The Christian Bible comprises of two parts, the Old Testament and the New Testament. Circumcision Lilith may be gone, but these are the most inspiring women alive today. 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So, the plague was stopped among the people of Israel. Leviticus 20:9 says, Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death. Therefore say, I hereby grant him my covenant of peace. Then theres Rebecca, who connives with her son Jacob to cheat his elder brother Esau out of his birthright, even going so far as to lay a pelt on Jacobs arm to convince her dying husband he is actually Esau (who was known as a hairy man). The Old Testament is derived from the Hebrew Bible and was written at different times between 1200 and 165 BC. thank you! Wow! Even if you've not read the Bible from start to finish, we'll pull out the highlights (lowlights?) (1 Kings 17:21), The was no rain until Noahs time. If he visited a different woman every night in turn, almost three years would pass before each one saw him again. This book talks about my seven-year estrangement from my Christian family and also gives solid tips to help you with your own family problems. Zombies Some of these weird bible verses may be for older kids, but there are plenty of funny Bible verses for your little ones too. These verses indicates that the Old Testament did not necessarily approve of same-sex relationships. ", A woman Levite called his "concubine" was murdered one night, but the most gruesome part comes next. This is supposed to be a passionate passage between lovers. Lot's daughters got their father drunk and in the end both became pregnant, as described in Genesis 19:3038.
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