Thats a short story but I want that back minus the pain. I just want to grieve for my Mum, she hadnt been ill, we spent all Sunday on a great day out, popped in to see her on Monday teatime, she called me at 10 just before going to her bed and when I passed on my way to work in the morning and her curtains and blinds were closed, I knew right then. it is so strange that i dont feel the excruciating pain i thought i would feel. I hope this article has shown you how normal it is to feel numb after a loss/losses. I dont know but when I got there, I didnt get the feeling that he was at home. My husband let me know that I was wanted and cared for by him. Not for me. I dont even visit her resting place like my other family does, I dont at all, my mom and sister cry and I just sort of sit there lost of words but no emotion comes out, I feel normal but not normal, I want to cry I want to let it out but I dont know how, I really cant. This is such a difficult time for you, with the grief over losing your husband, the arrangements to be made, and the fact that your friends and relatives will all be grieving at the same time, on their own emotional schedule. Im only 17 but Ive been through a lot of shit. Their online interface is user-friendly and matches you with a therapist uniquely qualified to support you in your area of need. We were so happy and it showed. They frequently direct angry outbursts at you. I shook terribly throughout but I shake with anxiety and I shake with lithium side effects. I found myself between emptiness and numbness at school carrying on my day. How devestating the loss of your daughter is! I lost my boyfriend, the love of my life on 4/8/2017. Im so sad. Now Im empty, Ben Grogan December 14, 2019 at 1:22 am Reply, My father has had a stroke a few months ago, Well specifically 2 strokes and a heart attack they had to excise a full hemisphere of his brain so there is no hope of him ever needing anything less than full medical care, The man raised me to be the best person I could be, empathetic without being overly emotional always trying to understand what the other side was thinking or feeling at any given time, The family is centered around the business, and it looks like its going down hill and gaining speed meaning My sister, Her husband, my niece and my mothers fiscal future is dissipating fast My dad is terrified, He doesnt know the full extent of his injuries, nor the fact they are permanent He always said he never wanted to be stuck in a bed with no dignity and that he would prefer death to existence in such a state My mother? I am holding nothing in. my heart goes out to you, for loosing your dear Wife. I know that no one wants to hear that and everyone wants to feel those emotions. Fortunately a friend of mine whose child had died suddenly 10 years before, had already told me that she didnt cry on the day of his funeral either. Hi Maggie My father was a complex man, so was mine, I am his first daughter but I also have a younger sister and three brothers. You need to find the faith and peace to know that EVERYTHING happens for a reason, even if it seems so tragic that you cannot make sense of it. I have a 9 yr old who was extremely close to my dad they spent every Sunday together and she has not cried since the day he passed either. That was all those times Sissy Sarah saved my life. My grandma past away on Saturday. You will always be a hero . It was only really one of her first few, the chemo only started about a month ago. Just wanted to share with you and anyone else who is reading this and feeling numb that this is perfectly normal. Here are 13 common fake apologies used by narcissists, along with examples of each: The Minimizing Apology: "I was just." "I was just kidding." "I was just trying to help." "I was just playing. Bipolar disoder is a very awful mental health problem to deal with. Learn what it means to men in. Admitting to your partner that there is distance in the relationship is one of the hardest things you have to do. You say she understands you better than anyone elsetalk to her. I dont feel emotion, just feel.. but never let it out. Except now,I want you to imagine that one day you get on the roller coaster, and as itclimbs, falls, twists, and turns, you realize that you feel nothing. 22 years he was my best friend. Sara, I am so sorry for your loss. At first, you will feel like you are dreaming. I feel no reason to continue a meaningless existence for another 20, 30, or 40 years. I am only relieved because he is out of pain now and I do not believe that this is goodbye forever, only see you later. All I can say to you Roseanne is try to remember all the good things your father showed you and the love he shared with you. What is the difference? Jealousy. Other than that, my emotions were so far from me. I hope you can avoid blaming yourself; it sounds like he was going through a lot of things that were beyond your control. Youve been really good opening up with your feelings in your posting. I dont think shes been crying at all. I do really want to feel. The below articles address this. I dont fully understand everything thats happened between you and your ex, however, it sounds as though you felt emotionally (and at times physically?) Make sure to do this in a loving and gentle fashion. If you come off as demanding or accusatory, you may not make progress. All of us who have lost loved ones and are posting here, will probably feel numb/sad/ok/other at different times, and its all ok. We feel this way (even when what were feeling is numbness), because we loved them. I already cried even hes confined yet inside the hospital but when my aunt told me that hes dead, all the memories with him when I was a child (Im their first daughter) I cried and I can only say is papa which is dad in our language. Its now two and three years later and I am just now starting to properly grief and start feeling things emotionally. Last month when my father died.. Three days before God took his life, I was with him. And by the way I absolutely love the stick figures. I have cried but not much. Im not sure if I completely understand everything that youve described in your comment, but it sounds like youve experienced situations where your personal boundaries have been violated or where youve been forced into physical acts you did not consent to. I ate every food that will boost my endorphin i.e. Looking specifically at the death of your ex-boyfriend, as the article states it is normal to feel nothing after the death of a loved one. I keep thinking I should be wailing and gnashing my teeth..and am I a soulless monster for not having any emotions about it? I dont think Im a robot or heartless but this feeling of not much feeling is really embarrassing. Nothing seems to matter anymore because it feels like Armageddon. I feel empty. If this sounds more like you, there may be some more work to be done. Some would say wow I thought you would be an emotional wreck. I am angry that she never listen. Lots of people try to relate their 100 yr old grandma dying when they were a kid to the loss I feel. I feel it in my heart when it pounds as it hink of thoughts of her. She talks about how numbing can take many forms: eating six bars of chocolate, spending hours on Facebook, long lay insall of this takes us away from reality and would probably make us feel better if it were in smaller doses: a couple of pieces of chocolate, a chat online for 20 minutes, a lay in for a couple of hours once in a while. 7. I want you to know that your feelings of numbness are completely acceptable. Just like that, just within seconds she was dead. The 4-month mark of losing my boyfriend/soulmate is only 4-days away. My mum is trying to stay strong, and is worried if she starts crying she wont be able to stop. The scene would have been a thousand times worse. But its like Ive dried up and cant feel anymore. Especially if the case is more that the love is lost or you dont feel like you have a high understanding of each other, understanding the Gottman method or getting therapy from a mental health provider who is versed in the Gottman method can be helpful. My Mum passed away 11th May 2016 after a 2 year battle with cancer. Jessica, So sorry for your lose. I feel so similar. I have always felt something was going to happen to him from day one too. I cared for her 10-12 hours a day while she was here in my home, and I am 100% sure I did a good job caring for her. Next day, not feeling. I am a little bit sad, but I actually feel numb. I got the hysterical phonecall, from my 19yr old daughter that my sister had been found hanged. I know Ive blocked out a lot of my past but I cant recall feeling a thing. My mom passed away when I was about 6, my father shot her. My dad died about 7 months ago. Neither sorrow or loss. Hes not ever coming back. My grandmother was the one with multiple health problems but I wasnt expecting my grandfather to pass away. I havent cried. My mum was always cold towards me,I dont remember love or emotion,she had never told my dad and I that she loved us.Whats wrong with me? Those of us affected like this can, instead of picking fights, find some forward momentum in helping others and become the strong one, but our hidden fragility can make us more vulnerable than others realise. This worries me for my family but even that worry is something I know more with my head than something I feel in my heart/soul. Nothing compares to losing a child, I feel I only have empathy for parents who are experiencing the same pain. I have no power over my life. Litsa January 23, 2022 at 10:16 pm Reply. Adalyn April 14, 2019 at 10:59 pm Reply. Anthony A Brzezinski July 13, 2017 at 7:03 pm Reply. In counseling, you may start to feel like you and your partner have an open dialogue again. Oh my gosh.. your story is so like mine, my beautiful first born daughter passed away 5 weeks ago. What is a couples retreat and why should you plan one? I definitely want to investigate this feeling more to help me understand it. My fridge gave out. He was pronounced at home. Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is another highly beneficial form of therapy for couples, boasting a 70-75% rate of recovery post-therapy. Its now been 6 months, and that feeling (or non-feeling) of having no emotions still persists with me. Still trying to find myself my 2nd born 8months later also 25 then brainstem stroke.Imidiate coma.no response since his stroke the 12ve and passed the 14th.This happened in 2013 and 2014.Now 18 months after the 2nd son.and I still feel this way.I only cry weep brake down for other peoples loss.Is this good?normal?Maybe I am heartless.Karin, Litsa January 2, 2016 at 11:14 pm Reply. I didnt even realise beforehand that that is what I needed. I imagine you may agree, that On the way to the hospital/in the emergency room/4 hours after or 2 and a half years.. it makes no difference. I cant cry or really feel anything. It was all too sudden. Its okay. She embrassed me and finally worried they would think me strange I forced a few tears for their sake. We have 3 little girls and I know I need to be strong for them, and I try. Im so glad to have found this webpage, it makes me realise that I am not abnormal for feeling void of emotion since losing my only child. I lost a long time friend about 18 months ago and I cried for months when I thought of her. We still dont know the cause of death but i think it was a heart attack. She had cancer for four years and I took care of her but didnt do a very good job. I havent dated; I dont trust my judgment anymore. Not only are you wasting time and keeping them from who they are meant to be with, but you are also stealing that time away from yourself. When you go emotionally numb, you lose the ability to feel and experience your emotions on a psychological and emotional level. Family therapy is an excellent option for those who have a child or family facing mental health or behavioral issues, for those who are experiencing a change in the family such as a divorce, loss, or move, or for those who are experiencing any other disruption within the family such as difficulty with conflict resolution or frequent arguments. I guess it is. If youre reading this Id like you to know you arent alone in that. 4 hours after Id been told, and when I could barely walk. This has helped me realise that Im not some kind of sociopath and this is a fairly normal reaction. None of which I cried for. I can not functioning life. WYG provides general educational information from mental health professionals, but you should not substitute information on the Whats Your Grief website for professional advice. Im thankful I was there when she went and privalidged to have carried her to her final resting place. I dont smoke pot. Ive never felt pain like this and it seems nothing takes it away. At least I really hope it does. Hey Cam, please dont feel anxious. In term to crying or feeling sad, I only get like that in situation where I am alone, I would never cry in front of another person for a reason as ridiculous as it sounds, I feel embarrassed. Dear Charlie. One day is all I cried. It's hard to understand how the absence of feeling can actually equal extreme pain and distress, but it does. Peoples grief paths all look different. I was with him when he died and I didnt cry. My heart goes out to you. See what I mean though?? But like you all there are only a few tears when I think of certain things. If not it maybe that she (and you) need some time to process whats happened, and find some answers as to whats happened (which can sometimes help). I cried once again when I had to tell my brother, who was away for Christmas, that our mom had died. The absence of grief is also a way of grieving. He was young, far too young to die. There was absolutely nothing wrong with this wife. So again, if you feel distressed by your response, if you are dealing with feelings of guilt that you dont know how to cope with, or if you just want someone to talk to about the death of your ex, feelings of being bullied, or any of the other experiences you eluded to, you should talk to your parents about speaking with a counselor or therapist. Even though this article shows me that its okay to feel numb or have no emotion at all. You are being guided even if it doesnt feel like that sometimes. In fact thats what and how came across this site. I woke up to the feeling that my back was breaking the morning of my fathers death. You know you're sad about the death, but you can't actually access the emotions and so you feel different than others grieving the death and you worry others will think you're apathetic and question your love for the person who has died. I was so upset that I thought I gave the wrong directions and then all of a sudden, I felt absolutely nothing, no hurt, nothing. I almost feel like I cant except it or think about the reality or it will destroy me. My Mum died 4 weeks ago and I feel like most of you above, I feel heartless and abnormal and cant describe it to anyone. I found this looking for answer to why I am like this today and yesterday. My worry is that by pushing the grief away, Im failing to process things, and setting myself up for issues further down the road. I didnt cry, I tried but I ended up feeling bad because I cant cry. It is true that nothing we say on this site will ever be a universal. I was happy that they put him in Hospice & that he did not suffer BUT I feel no grief. The pandemic has made it impossible to get with a support group. Christine van Duuren April 17, 2016 at 8:40 am Reply. Its possible to bring love back even when youve grown apart in many situations, but you might choose to part in other cases. I guess the heavy stuff might come home to roost in times of high anxiety or distress later. I kept on hating myself for saying such things, thinking that there was something wrong with me for feeling nothing towards his passing. It seems like everything that comes up is a (my apologies if this offends anyone)life or death situation. Ashley Rochelle March 25, 2020 at 8:32 am Reply. At the same time, his mum was very poorly too do he did everything for them. I want to be angry on here. But I want to change. I was sick with grief for 13 days and since I feel nothing. All I can think about is how weird would it be to lose them on the same day. This book discusses some of the most common grief experiences and breaks down psychological concepts to help you understand your thoughts and emotions. I just feel nothing. I loved my Mum very much and that is why this feeling is so hard to accept. I went from Paradise to Hell. Some examples of neglect in a relationship include failing to take time for one another or taking your significant other for granted. Although people pop in and out of this website, I hope youll find it a place of support. So feel no time for me. I would say.. Because we love him so much We dont want him to die in such young age He havent entered his 30s . and hugely relate to the having to make decisions, front up and solider on its really hard. I dont know what I am going to do. Emily, Im so very sorry for the multiple losses you have been forced to endure. Im so sorry, Sarah. with little to no interest. Learn why we're so reluctant to talk honestly about sex. I have cried but I have switched off in a way and now feel nothing. I wont get another chance at this. Then 4 weeks ago. I walked around like a zombie for months and months. Hi Ashleigh, I am sorry for the loss of your Mother, I too lost my Mum on the 16th March 2020, she had COPD but she was fine the day before she passed away . Having an agreed-upon approach to debates and arguments may help disengage stonewalling if it happens. i dont know what to do, i feel like if i tell my parents or a counselor, there gonna call me crazy or sociopathic, so i try to force myself to cry when something tragic happens but it never works but this article helped a lot thank you for the context and why i might be feeling this way. I had an aunt who was my best friend. Im also in my 20s. Hard to explain! You can't expect your partner to know what's going on with you internally unless you tell them. Rather, grief takes all sorts of shapes, sizes and timelines. So I am here because, I know I need to accept this death of this very important person that his importance I ignore. I told them they arent helping. Laurie December 26, 2022 at 10:57 pm Reply. He got run over three minutes later and died from the injuries. Take care and I hope you find support on our site. Then never go a way unless I am numb. Then I also forgive myself, I forgive all my regrets to my dad, I know the person who loved us, will never want to see us broke down. Him and I were extremely close and he had just recently given my boyfriend his blessing for ya to get married. The next days of his wake, I didnt cry. However we still talk to each other. Im coming to understand this: 1. as we talked i just tought he was right and got back on playing my games, next day the leader of our church came and said we need to learn to live without my dad now. I was so scarred for 51 day, knowing from the start that he is on the edge between death and life. I think Im terrified tomo that it will all hit me and seem real and Im also scared that I still feel numb. And if you take anything from this trust yourself and your process. Thankyou. 4 weeks ago I lost my dad. You may require some extra help from a licensed professional, but it can be done. And he does not show any sign of willing to get better. I feel terrible for trying to get on with normal things as though nothing has happened. Alexis January 5, 2022 at 9:49 pm Reply. gabrielle renaud February 13, 2019 at 1:40 am Reply, im concerned with a few things youve said i hope everything is okay stay strong never give up if you ever need someone to talk to i know im a stranger but i can listen gabby.realrenaud@gmail.com, Elizabeth Grumbles June 15, 2018 at 10:59 pm Reply, I can remember being 3yrs old and seeing my father cry after listening to a sad song and I could think was teally. Bipolar disorder can make you feel extreme emotions one minute, followed by extreme swings to apathy at the next. I feel guilty that I am more worried about our world than anything. Having lost my mom 2 weeks ago, Im still seeing lots of mood swings and unpredictable emotions. And for giving people the chance to comment. Our advice columnist wants to hear from you! You can still start with calling attention to the issue at hand. Couples therapy doesnt have to take a long time, so dont worry that youll be in therapy indefinitely. i want to hold unto him but i do not know how specially i have only knew him for a while, i want to keep him alive in my heart but i dont hold enough memories of him. My dad had a powerful mind and personality and I miss him enormously. It is okay to be numb or take breaks from grief, as long as it doesnt turn in to long-term avoidance. On the other hand, powerful feelings of grief and loss strengthens social bonds, and this also has survival value. So Im actually trying to perform a soul retrieval. I looked down and the groceries that he just got on June 30th was sitting right on the floor where he left them when he got in the house that day. We put her to rest this Saturday. I want to grieve this, but it is not happening. I am only now feeling the anger.. BUT i do believe they are just on the other side the veil their music is all around us, all we have to do is listen. The feeling of nothing, and emptiness scares me. I cried at her funeral but thats it. I laughed with my close ones, I spent time with them. We were very close, very bonded. Im fine one minute but staring into space the next. My husband was my world. Believe me grandchildren are the greatest unexpected gift from whom you learn so much. Now I look back, I think what do you know about it? How could I ever for one second have felt bad on top of my loss for being too much in shock to give the appropriate emotional display. Im worried it will hit us seeing his coffin etc, and we might not be able to cope. It has been almost 4 months since he died and I still havent felt any sadness or cried. I am partly estranged from my parents. I just cannot think of him, without feeling mine and his pain, suffering etc. Awhile ago, my mom told me that it looks like nothing happened. It still doesnt feel real. I went emotionally numb from the trauma. LouiseB October 21, 2019 at 10:40 am Reply, My husbands sister died 7 months ago after 8 months in hospital. I was still numb from my daughters death at the time of my husbands death. A few days later my friend went missing for 14 hours, she has had mental instability leading up to a year and a half with anorexia, with the next thing she ran away. Idk whats going on. I find myself crying all the time thinking of how hopeless he must have been; but, then I ask myself how can I think about him this way? Dont ever be afraid to reach out for help. I lost my mum on 12th March to COPD. Robert. So sorry for everyones loses xxxx. Im sure I was. I have to survive because there is no safety net for me there is no one I can fall back on, Im alone. There was so much to do and organise, I just kept going.until I couldnt. Im not a hugger at all but girl, Im sending you one along with positive vibes and energy to get through your days; my heart aches for yours and I hope you reach out if you need to. I felt so relieved-her death was an awful thing to witness. I wish you every good thought and piece of happiness and love you can find. Even things that are common dont occur for everyone. I lost my father 5 days ago and the first day, I was overcome by a tremendous sadness. I do encourage you to look around this site because we have a lot of content that addresses much of what youve discussed in this and other comments. I lost my wife of over 40yrs last week at home after a year long illness and couldnt understand why I didnt cryafter reading a couple of articles on emotional numbness including yours I understand better..have had a cry ( first time)..so thank you, MaryFlee3* February 23, 2023 at 8:44 pm Reply. I agree that this is concerning. But it didnt bother me. None of the other comments quite captured it. Hi Tina G, So sorry to hear all of this. Alis, I am so sorry for the losses you have experienced. How do you grieve something that you never had? Subscribe to stay up to date on all our posts. I cried for two straight hours and I havent cried about him since. You may want to check out this article: https://whatsyourgrief.com/finding-a-grief-counselor/ Thank you for taking the time to comment and to share your perspective! Its been over 4 months and I am numb from shock and I cry at the drop of a dime. I dont even remember crying. You will be okay I promise. If that is knocked, everything else will follow the same. Too bad you didnt live closer, perhaps we could pull each other out of this funk. That maybe I didnt love her (which I most definitely did). May 27, 2023; Truly Moving on After Your Spouse Cheats or Has an Affair - Tips on How to Do It May 12, 2023; I dont know how to be without her. Its been so hard with 2 children and work to cope with. Any changes in how you have been feeling? Its that empty kind of sadness though. If youve been with your partner for a long time, the initial spark may have waned, but that doesnt mean that it cant come back. We had so many plans for the future. I cant help you really and i havent lost any of my parent yet and i cant possibly know how you are feeling, but i know that its fucked up. In addition to melting or disappearing I also experiencing battery drain, where a small stressor ie: driving to work in poor weather conditions and suddenly drains my fully charged battery to near zero within minutes. And need to find out why no oil leak, I need 5 qu arts of oil.! The mother son bond is something beautiful. I am only 31 and dont know how I will cope moving forward without him. How do I know that my partner has fallen out of love with me? Dad, grandparents friends, coworkers. My daughter passed away a month ago. Your feelings will be different from day to day. I have the hope of Jesus and know I will see my son again, but I still feel like there is something wrong with me for being numb. Hi Abby really sorry that you have had such a traumatic experience at such a young age. Why is this not so for my father? When my dad told me that she passed, I felt nothing, just nothing with the alarming feeling of emptiness. Christina, Im so very sorry to hear that youre going through this. Communicate. It just pisses me off. Definitely in a much better place today!??? Im sad, upset, angry at pharma, and wish things were not as they are. A 2009 study found that couples rated communicating anger in an assertive way as more successful than approaching anger from a place of denial or passive-aggressiveness. Alot of people don't really realize this until they have to do this themselves. Ive tried to force myself to understand his death but I cant fully comprehend it. Its good that you have your mom and your brothers and people at your church, so that if you feel like talking with them about your dad, you can do that. I had many nightmares when I broke up with him. JENNIFER October 3, 2016 at 1:51 pm Reply, I never knew people still have powers and make things happen this way. I know some of them but I also grieve for those I dont know. I really dont want to talk to anyone as I am just not there yet. It hurts to laughjust. Sometimes, in long term relationships, day-to-day life gets in the way, and we dont put as much into the relationship anymore. We werent really close but after spending time, mainly her last few weeks I feel we did again have that bond which was lost many years ago. But I feel nothing as if I dont care. But I dont cry much over true tragedy in life. It also helps to heal the bad effects, making it potentially easier and quicker to get back on the right track. I wow he was here but I feel nothing as I type all of this. I feel lost, confused, shock etc. But I believe youre never going to forget about your mom. She died just an hour or so after her chemo was administered. You have no idea that it feels so therapeutic to read NT behaviour as normative, coz my aspie husband, and following him his family, his friends constantly called me over sensitive and negative person for 5 years. why am i weird sry for my bad english im german. What do you do? A licensed counselor or therapist can accurately diagnose and treat you. As far as I can recollect, I was feeling numb before the horrific day just four weeks ago. This constantly made me feel that I was not responsible enough for my mother, which is true. I just dont have the strength to do much of anything. Telling each other what you appreciate in the other and spending quality time together when you arent stressed out and arent simply going through the motions of the day can help bring you closer. Whilst Im there comforting her as I feel nothing, it really scares me how I feel nothing for these past events. And now Im seeming like a bitch because I cant do it for a reason. She was partying with her girlfriend and took something shed never taken before and passed away in her sleep. Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. He died and I DIDNT. I did the best I could for her eulogy to let everyone one the life of my mum. And from then on I was emotionless during her funeral I walked around like a zombie and to this day I worry about how people thought of me that day and even now. Life without my son. Dennis D October 17, 2022 at 12:55 am Reply. And i was always cautious regarding health, always telling him, mom, dad to visit doctors. Why do I miss the baggage more than them? Bruce Johnston July 31, 2016 at 5:35 pm Reply. My little sister and namesake died on November 9th, 2022 and I am experiencing a feeling of numbness.
How To Get Good Ending Danganronpa 1, Articles I